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Be prepared to hear things that will frighten you. PS If you or any of the men in your life deal with depression, check out Mr. Terrence Real clears the smoke and breaks relationship "rules" down into truthful, applicable concepts.
Be prepared to have new hope. Real's book "I Don't Want To Talk About It". Not only new hope for your relationships, but new hope for those of your children too.
If you are reading this review you probably know how complex, confusing, and overwhelming love relationships can be. Be prepared to be given straight talk about what you can do to learn and grow. Again, Terrence Real knows his "stuff".
He has accurate, profound insights that provide the understanding we all need to transform and empower our relationships into examples of "full-respect living". It will frighten you because you will learn how you and your partner now relate in toxic ways that do not work.
In hindsight, TR punched through the psychobabble of 4 previous therapists and hit home on how both of us were sabotaging the relationship. I read TR's previous two books while trying to save my 16-yr old marriage. Net net, she didn't take his advice and I did (to be more honest and less nice) - which he had predicted; two months later we separated and I am now in a much more intimate, loving relationship with my second wife. Our marriage was one of those were the woman was running from self-analysis and I sought the safe-space of a therapists office. I even went to see him for a full-day (w/ my ex-) and a half-day. Full cost: $11,000.
This book is easily read by therapists and lay people alike. The many case examples and real examples of what "to do" are very useful. Its an easy read and I recommend it. As a therapist and a married person I find Terry Real's work to be extremely helpful. It is practical direct and hopeful.
Rather like "Dr. Beware when anyone seeking to "enlighten" you begins to suggest they have the TRUE knowledge, and only They have it. Mr. it hurts when I do this." "So stop doing it." Also as other reviewers noted -it really sinks into self-aggrandisement. Save your money. Real's first 2 books are useful in understanding male depression and how that blocks and prevents men from finding intimacy. However as he says himself in this book his message boils down to-be nice to each other.
The new rules are a process and curriculum whereby men and women can save their unions provided that men learn to act more like women. More importantly, it cannot work anyway. Male nature is neither an outcome of regimes nor media slant, it is a result of biology. In every equitable transaction, the side who asks for more must offer more in exchange. The enduring theme of this work, which promises so much to women, revolves around men being to blame for the failure of modern relationships.
Rather than internalize these New Rules men should memorize a more imperative injunction: Caveat Emptor. Asking men to alter their consciousness in the hopes of accommodating women is preposterous. Such a wish should reveal to the direct sex that society's advocacy for equality was a ruse all along; nothing but a dense smog concealing a desire for female supremacy. Women and men are known to have disparate biological imperatives and goals in life.
Advocating for one sex to obliterate their concerns and proclivities in the hopes of making things easier for the other is both absurd and despicable. It seems that we have neglected to alter ourselves to the necessary extent. In all likelihood, his wife will be infinitely more sexualized, far more materialistic, blatantly more narcissistic, and far less motherly than any woman who bonded with his ancestors. This leads us to ask, what do modern women offer men that is superior to what their predecessors proffered in the past. Women want more out of relationships today so.men must give it to them. Why is that the case.
Given this eventuality, is it any surprise that modern men are increasingly reluctant to commit. After all, talking about emotion is as useful as singing about electrical engineering.
Today's woman may describe herself in glowing terms, but a look at the chassis should alert potential customers that what is labeled a Lexus was actually made by Daewoo.
Twenty-first century women not only fail to render a quid pro quo they also--by demanding that men retain their traditional function as objects of status and wealth while also adding new requirements such as males be Chatty Cathy's and neatly-trimmed launderettes--have inflated their price beyond what the market can possibly pay. If we did then we could better meet the needs of the liberated woman.
Take your time mulling that one over because the man who enters into a marriage contract in 2008 faces far more risks than he ever did at any other point in history. Of course, there is much to disdain about The New Rules of Marriage, but what offended me most was its pervasive celebration of inequality amongst the sexes.
Over the course of the last decade the social constructionist perspective has been rendered obsolete by science. Societal cheerleading will never succeed in getting men to purge themselves of their essence.which is what makes them men.Getting men to verbalize their thoughts and emotions is pointless, foolhardy, downright goofy, and a waste of time.
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